With love

[ Following is a purely fictional dialogue exchange and bears no relation to reality ]

“You never agree with me.”

“Well, that my darling Emma, is precisely the cause of your academic success. Besides, the only time I recall  we agreed upon something was when I asked you to marry me. Which is why we’re here today, married, in love and together fifty.”

“To the latter I agree. And about the former, I’m glad you agree I’m an academic success.”

“Mmm-hmm”

“But whatever, about this presently, my take on formal methods in computer science is certainly correct and so shall you agree once they approve my paper and declare it the standard.”

“Well, my darling wife, it’s good to have hopes but just those that won’t hurt.”

“Whatever. Mrs. Ginger, please prepare tea for Sir and whatever breakfast he pleases. I’m too busy today to serve such smug people as he.”

“Yes Mrs. Ginger, please prepare me breakfast and also remind my darling wife of all the time my work has been established the standard.”

“My dear Bill, well I think Mrs. Ginger rather should remind you that your contribution to the field is indeed very little compared to the published cannon of my extensive work.”

“I profess that little but high quality work is more worthy of appreciation than much work lacking in quality. I’m going to my study. Mrs. Ginger will you please serve me breakfast there?” 

“Sure Sir.”

“Also, Mrs. Ginger before I take leave, please be kind enough to remind Emma darling that all of my fifteen students completed their PHDs with straight A+”

“Well, may I remind you my dear husband Bill that ten out of the thirty five students under my guidance scored A+ while others scored straight A. These statistics, put into ratio against yours attest my greater excellence in academics”

“Please pass me the cup of tea Mrs. Ginger.”

“Sure Sir.”

[ Hands the cup to Bill ]

“I’ll just check who knocked at the door.”

“Mr. Watson is here”

[ Mr. Watson walks into the kitchen ]

“Hello Emma! Hey Bill! Good Morning! How’re you all doing?”

“Sir and Ma’am are enjoying their usual round of sardonic appreciation. Sir, I will take leave now.”

Mr. Watson: “Oh their playful banter delights me every-time. They’re adorable together. Their bond truly is unparalleled. True it is, the deeper the love, the stronger the emotion, An’ the stronger the love, the deeper the devotion…” [ lyrics of a popular song ]

All in unison: I agree.

Newborn Mother

6th April, 2019

Hello dear Diary, I’m sorry we haven’t met in twenty-four, maybe twenty-six months. Who can count? Really, becoming a mother has swirled my life. Not that I don’t like it but may I confess, and only to you that it really is so very exhausting. I always run low on energy now. Also, sometimes I think the structure of the grey matter in my brain has changed. I’ve become quicker at picking up non-verbal cues. I’ve started to plan my day ahead. I’ve started to smell my surroundings way more than I used to. Oh this all is so very weird. I really really love Chris but you know he’s really so little that he just always needs me. Sometimes I love it, feel I’m his universe. This little munchkin’s entire world. It is exhilarating. While at other times I simply hate it. Hate this responsibility of being there for him all the time, even when I’m asleep. Maybe it’ll take me just a little more while to be able to breathe like this and call it my bliss.

To think of it, my world has terifically changed. Whilst all that crowded my mind earlier was pieces of code, meetings, submissions and deadlines, today my priorities are baby food served to him at the right temperature at the right time, his skin care, his reflexology massage and of course, his nappies. And if I ever find any free time for myself among all this plethora of baby care, I always seem to instantly fall asleep, irrespective of time or place. But when he grabs my tiny finger with his even tinier fist of all five, I realise it’s probably all worth it.

Today morning I went fruit shopping. It’s been ages really that I went out for purchases, even the mundane ones. Really, Mrs. Lisa has all the while been such a darling, helping me at every step. Raising a baby as a single mother is not easy, really. I’m his source of tender affection and his formidable protective sheath against the world too. I have to be his touchy-feely mom and his cool dad too. I wonder whether I can really pull this off. I really really want to. I want to be the best parent.

I bought avocado today. You know, I hate avocados but they’re worth the nutrition of a meal for the baby. I visited the bank too. I’ve insured his life worth a lakh a month. I want my Chris to always stay secured. I’ve also gotten opened a RD account in his name. They said they’ll transfer it all in the baby’s name when he’s eighteen. My darling should have the best upbringing I can afford. He shall have it all. I have to maintain a journal of finance in Chris’ name too.

Also, I purchased the Oxford Alphabet and the Oxford Colors book. These are going to be the first among the many books my Chris is going to read. He’s probably going to fall in love with books very soon. I shall introduce to him their magical world. While he shall let his emotions flow with the world of words, he shall also learn to deal with the reality as harsh as it ever can be. Oh my boy is going to be the best guy this world of citizens is going to see. Oh it’s almost his bed-time. I’ll go and put him to sleep.

Love, 

Forever Yours.

Blue

Blue is a feeling. It is God’s signature attesting peace. It is the expression of being content. It is the fresh feeling of waking up at dawn to a relaxed day ahead or of falling asleep on the same bed you have for weeks but today, in peace, with all your work complete. Or the soothing murmur of the sea. Or the trickle of the dew drops along the edge of the scaffolding in some quiet city. It evokes the same comfort as the patter of the rain as it hits the thirsty ground, its beat, putting one’s brain immediately at ease or as the sprinkle of drops of fresh water from the stream, relieving the exertion of a long journey. It is the feeling of sipping cold juice on a day of dusty winds and tormentous heat. It is the expression of glee on watching the moon rise from behind the clouds on a dark, misty night. It is the feeling of being complete on meeting your love after several nights of falling asleep to painful languish. It is the comfort of resting your head on your mom’s lap each time or of watching your dad rejoice in the felicity of pride in your feat. It is the joy of having read all the books in your favourite series or having a selfie with the movie character you wish to please. It is the euphoria on reading that one line that expresses your deepest emotion which you never could comprehend how to articulate and weave. It is the tranquilizing silence by the sea. It is the emotion of feeling at one with the mess your life is, sitting on a beach contemplating on a clear night as you watch your friends doze off to sleep. 

It is the triumph of landing a job in the firm of your dreams or owning the thriving business you’ve always wanted to curate or of etching your name in golden letters in this world of mortals’ history for eternity. It is the feeling of finally belonging to someone after having lived for the longest time without a confidant or one to share it all with whilst you weep. It is the feeling of finally having the courage to dive deep into the sea, that of the release from your worries of this everyday spree. It is the joy of enjoying a basic, plain cooked meal sitting on the same old floor with your family after days of eating fairly expensive meals half-heartedly.

It is the equanimity of sitting by a stream, amidst the quiet of the hills, recounting the achievements of your dream-like life or of recollecting your favourite moments spent with the dearest in life. It is the thrill of watching all your efforts finally reap. It is the feeling of realisation that truly, with the blink of an eye, it all will change but God’s really never going to blink. It is the realisation that what did not kill, really made you stronger. It is the satisfaction on finally being healed by time. It is the realisation that miracles are, but really no myth and that indeed the best you’re yet to see. It is the pride on realising that the world recognises your parents by your fame. Blue is, indeed the expression of the feeling of having lived a life with the simplicity of the Dove and the shine of the Sun.

The dinosaur still lay there, each day, growing wise

When I woke up, the dinosaur was still there. Been working on it for three days and nights straight, my exhausted eyes could now scan through the intricate architecture of its tiny, rusted brawny metal body. It lay there, lifeless on the matrix keyboard in the Intelligence and Controls Laboratory. Next to it stood the stack of fat books among the disordered collection of wires, chips and soldering instruments and all the other paraphernalia. With the backdrop of brown wallpaper and the dull looking computer, this little robot dazzled in my eyes as my brain flushed with vibrant dreams. I visioned this dinosaur robot to be the coolest and the most efficient officer in few months’ time.

The thrill of building the first one of such artificial officials that were to proliferate and prosper in the intelligence systems for the next quarter century was beyond what words can contain. With the ‘primitive capabilities’ draft set and the neuromorphic chips and micro WIFI adapters’ layout designed and soldered, I now had to write those magical assembly statements that would spring this lifeless skeleton to life and my career and dreams to flight. The endeavor of programming the micro-controller would involve tonnes of myriad algorithms, kilos of lines of code, as many of documentation, more of bugs, hours of decoding and debugging and many many scores of coffee mugs. The raindrops pattering over the verandah outside is such soothing therapy. I’m energized now.

The art of coding is one of the most creative fields and the dive into the ocean of unknown technology, the stroke of a brush dipped in the golden spell of excellence. I’m blessed to be here to watch this closely as technology gets weaved into the fabric of everyday lives.  

Other than static functionality, I aspired to furnish this little artifact with autonomous faculties. Biology inspired neural networks would help real-time movement and flight learning along with event based action selection. Crash revival was a far fetched but deep seated yearning in my brain. The next step would be the establishment of secure, encrypted wireless connection between the controller system and my robot. Multiple encryption protocols were in consideration to be chosen from.

A function at a time was my pace,

Vision, on-ground motion, flight, airflow sensitivity, all in line,

A character at a time I began to type,

Test, run and analyse,

Minimise and optimise, 

Reduction in power, cost and size,

And to be really really precise,

An espionage agent in making, 

One had to be very well organised.

Yet another day I spent working on my machine and dozed off again on the same PC system I had the previous night; to wake up the following morning and realise, the dinosaur still lay there, each day, growing wise.